It's just a flesh wound.

I cannot begin to tell you, dear reader, how many people have waltzed in and out of my life over the last four years. I built a beautiful life, a happy home, and at the end of the day it was not enough. I was not enough. So, here we are at both a soul crushing end and a terrifying beginning, simultaneously. What I hope to accomplish through writing here is a guide to self discovery, self reliance, and learning how to let go of people, and things, that have walked out of our lives.

Let me tell you something about people: when someone shows you who they really are, believe them every time. There is a saying about actions speaking more loudly than words and I am here to tell you that it is true. What people do to us will always show us, more than words, their truest intentions. That isn't to say that we don't make mistakes now and again. Everyone makes mistakes. But when someone continually doesn't choose you over someone or something else, believe them, because they are trying to send you a message.

The saddest truth about me is that I find that when people walk out of my life intentionally they don’t get to walk back in, not because I don’t want them to per say, but because they have violated an already fragile person; a person who found it incredibly difficult to trust them in the first place and they just confirmed that they could not be trusted after all. This is a natural reaction for most people and one we need to work on. Be it two weeks or ten years, this goes for friendships and relationships alike. I believe in second, third and fourth chances but I am not a font of forgiveness. There simply comes a time when we have been hurt so much that our fragility becomes too much to bear, and we crack beneath the pressure of not being good enough, or smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough for another person that we must let go. We must let go if for no other reason than the hurt is just too heavy to carry anymore.

Where do we begin? How do we begin? Will we ever stop hurting once we have let these relationships go? The answer is yes, slowly.